And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
