He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
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I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
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If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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