Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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