She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
