Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
