Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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