Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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