i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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