well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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