why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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