wanna go halves on a baby?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
