Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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