I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
