Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
