HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
