So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
