The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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