The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize