Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
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She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
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This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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