Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
