haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I didn't notice because vodka
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
