my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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