accomplished twins. life is a go
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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