Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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