Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
