i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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