She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
whose parrot is this?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
