the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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