Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
