Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
