is your mom at the bar?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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