yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Randomize
