If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
