The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
