I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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