She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
too bad you live with your parents still
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.