Texts From Last Night

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  (562): View more from California

  Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop

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  (562): Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop http://tfl.nu/vzd0
  Replies (78) Good night (4729) Bad night (1346)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.

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  (513): Oh no, it isn't official until she poops. http://tfl.nu/gc75
  Replies (20) Good night (822) Bad night (3554)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day

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  (202): i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day http://tfl.nu/prhf
  Replies (18) Good night (6461) Bad night (586)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

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  (757): At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP." http://tfl.nu/p091
  Replies (298) Good night (75059) Bad night (2943)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory

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  (541): we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory http://tfl.nu/4fuz
  Replies (59) Good night (5545) Bad night (1070)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.

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  (541): I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god. http://tfl.nu/ci1f
  Replies (10) Good night (6329) Bad night (951)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.

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  (503): It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now. http://tfl.nu/4bjw
  Replies (7) Good night (741) Bad night (1343)
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  (925): View more from California

  Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities

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  (925): Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities http://tfl.nu/6vqv
  Replies (9) Good night (1611) Bad night (661)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.

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  (480): I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it. http://tfl.nu/wwgo
  Replies (5) Good night (1237) Bad night (726)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.

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  (970): He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart. http://tfl.nu/gryu
  Replies (12) Good night (687) Bad night (1146)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.

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  (360): So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace. http://tfl.nu/c8hs
  Replies (5) Good night (1331) Bad night (405)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now

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  (610): Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now http://tfl.nu/qopz
  Replies (9) Good night (605) Bad night (388)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.

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  (727): Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension. http://tfl.nu/xvwt
  Replies (5) Good night (569) Bad night (299)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth

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  (775): I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth http://tfl.nu/2n2k
  Replies (1) Good night (321) Bad night (807)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate

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  (972): I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate http://tfl.nu/d9si
  Replies (2) Good night (271) Bad night (516)

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