it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
