Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.

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29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Read it at the TFLN blog
(720): View more from Colorado

He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.

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(631): View more from New York

being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises

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(209): View more from California

For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.

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