I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
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The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
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I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.