Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917) And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater. http://tfl.nu/gzmt
  Replies (2) Good night (1169) Bad night (640)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial http://tfl.nu/i0mg
  Replies (27) Good night (4810) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question" http://tfl.nu/300d
  Replies (11) Good night (848) Bad night (3873)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats? http://tfl.nu/kev5
  Replies (114) Good night (1246) Bad night (3968)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all. http://tfl.nu/2gc2
  Replies (10) Good night (796) Bad night (3205)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night. http://tfl.nu/0cve
  Replies (71) Good night (1641) Bad night (6437)
• Favorite

  (226): View more from Ontario

  I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (226): I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop. http://tfl.nu/0sxf
  Replies (4) Good night (3583) Bad night (1203)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again. http://tfl.nu/aob4
  Replies (3) Good night (1036) Bad night (3080)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Thursday nights need to stop happening to me. http://tfl.nu/p744
  Replies (8) Good night (2480) Bad night (1058)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip http://tfl.nu/bjin
  Replies (4) Good night (1916) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut. http://tfl.nu/kqfa
  Replies (20) Good night (2073) Bad night (847)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck http://tfl.nu/0y2l
  Replies (6) Good night (2120) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue." http://tfl.nu/irh4
  Replies (0) Good night (939) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home. http://tfl.nu/5egk
  Replies (4) Good night (767) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you. http://tfl.nu/1elk
  Replies (1) Good night (488) Bad night (325)

Randomize