dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.