You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
