Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
