Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
