just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
