I don't think brook has ever known best
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
