Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
