ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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