Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Are we still banned from the library?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
