Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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