She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
