Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
