did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
