if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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