Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
