Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
