Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
