I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I don't deserve a penis
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize