Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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