he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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