Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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