Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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