its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
