I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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