so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
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