This girl is more easily done than said...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
