it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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