haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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