Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
