If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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